Simply Witchy - My Moodiest Session Yet

With so much uncertainty floating around the world and doom baring it’s ugly head, it’s safe to say this may be the darkest yet loveliest thing I post.

In examining my work I often notice that my favorite shots, my most creative shots, are produced when I’m at a low. This is a theme I’d like to investigate here, as you can definitely sense the emotion through these images.

When I was in University, I was fascinated by a course called “Creativity and the Brain” in which different neurological diseases as well as mental health and drug influences upon creativity were studied. I chose to dive into the mental health side of it, and remember writing a paper on Depression and Creativity. I’d like to relate and reflect on that paper here if ya don’t mind. Quotes here will be coming from this paper I wrote back then.

“Creativity is very hard to define, and greatly depends on timing and culture, in addition to personal opinions. It is most commonly accepted to describe creativity as the production of novel and useful behavior, but many factors can affect this generation of novelty. Situations of increased creativity have been observed in many different areas, one of which outlines a relation with mental illness. Creative individuals seem to have a higher risk for mood disorders, and individuals in creative professions have been found to have higher rates of illness (Vartanian, Bristol & Kaufman, 2013, p. 179). A ‘U-shape’ hypothesis was developed to explain the associations between mood disorders and creativity, stating that very severe forms of pathology are detrimental to creativity, whereas genetic or mild forms may be beneficial (Vartanian, Bristol & Kaufman, 2013, p. 179). Depression has been shown to be related to an increase in creativity, and is of personal interest in my investigation of impacts on the generation of creative behaviour. How it is that depression and creativity, two seemingly opposite ends of the spectrum, can be linked, and how are these situations exhibited in the real world?”

If the mood behind my style here isn’t depression, I don’t know what is. Winters are rough for me, and creating always makes it better. I generally throw myself into my work and produce when I have nothing else to turn to. So began my series of self portraiture on my Instagram page I launched this winter. Before you judge me for sharing my struggles, kindly look through these images. And appreciate. Just appreciate.
She is beautiful, yes. But much more importantly, she had trust and let me open up. She let me create what I needed to. Together we found a feeling of nurture in studio (in my opinion at least). And holy heck is it ever stunning. We made ART my friends. This is truly art.

A large principle surrounding this paper I wrote was the belief that animals who are depressed will try novel activities (hence creativity under our definition) as an attempt to save their lives.

“It has been demonstrated that if an animal is explicitly rewarded for variable behaviour, an increase will be seen in the probability of that animal engaging in novel acts, some of which may be creative (Vartanian, Bristol & Kaufman, 2013, p. 48).   Interestingly, it has been shown in many studies that during the extinction phase in an experiment, the animal shows even more variable behaviour (Vartanian, Bristol & Kaufman, 2013, p. 53). It was noted best by Neuringer et al. that “Variability increases in extinction because of the relatively large increases in low probability behaviors. When reinforcers are no longer forthcoming, subjects occasionally try something different” (Vartanian, Bristol & Kaufman, 2013, p. 54). It is natural that animals long for a reward in whatever situation they may be in, and will constantly strive for positive reinforcement.

The idea of creativity arising from situations involving reinforcement relates to depression in the way that if a person feels they will not be rewarded, increasingly novel behavior would theoretically be attempted to achieve a reward. When a person is depressed, they lose the ability to feel positively rewarded in daily activities, feel helpless, and may feel that their actions or efforts will not be rewarded at all. In this same respect, a depressed animal will experiment with increasingly novel behaviour because of low reward expectations.”

Think about it, what do we as humans do when we get depressed? Other than mope around, lose motivation, lose our appetites, wrestle with both insomnia and an inability to leave our beds….. we try new things. We seek riskier and riskier behavior in attempt to feel a reward, or to feel something at all. Individuals with depression often seek out drugs, sex, and self harm as a way to cope; all very adrenaline inducing high reward behaviors. 

This.

This.

“This leads me to the idea that perhaps in mental illness the link to creativity or ‘reward’ is actually discovering and attempting to fix the emotional situation you are in, and what is going on in your brain. The creativity that ensues is simply an outlet, a way to sort out the crazy events happening inside the mind, and the motivation behind the madness is once again finding order in life.”

This.

This.

This was my closing line in the paper, and the part that made me really want to share it in my blog.

Now for the good stuff. Yeah, it does get better.

xo.

If these ones don’t make you scream I got nothin left. I poured every ounce of creative juice I could muster into this shoot, and it freakin shows.

By no means in my next statement am I inferring anything about this beautiful souls experiences, for I do not know her story, she trustingly allowed me the grace to capture what I needed to express.

But to me, and in what I captured here, these images describe mental health. It shows the hot and cold, the two sides, the two personalities, the struggle to find truth that I experience within my brain.

And I think that’s absolutely beautiful.

Don’t judge anyone’s capability by their struggles.

Ask their stories.

Ask what they’re proud of.

Ask what they create in this world.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised how lovely humanity is if you give it a chance.

<3 Kris